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Each of us has our own unique GPS system... Truth-telling is the most thorough navigation tool.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

I JUST WANT TO BE QUIET

I just want to be quiet.
What good does it do?
If I find happiness with less struggle - why struggle again?
I question my martyr syndrome. I think of and want him.
I think of love and want it. I think I want our love.
I feel like I'm giving up the fighter within, the one who defends me.
Good God Lord, help guide me.
But, where are you guiding me?
Help me.
I'm lost and confused.
I don't know what I should do - but I know what I want (for now) and is that enough.
I just want to be quiet.
I'm so torn in two. Half my books talk of love. Half, or more, the work aspect of life.
I'm disillusioned with the work aspect because of past successes.
Confused with my love because of past disappointments.

Today I don't know where to focus my energies.
I do not want to move or talk, only listen for guidance.

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